I started this blog with intentions to count my calories every day for a year. While I can say that I have been counting my calories daily since March 1st, I have not been mindful every day. Counting calories has been an awesome step for me, and I absolutely plan to keep at it. Blogging and also weighing myself each week keep me accountable too, so I am happy for taking all of those steps.
However, none of these have helped me to overcome emotional eating. It is something that I have struggled with probably since middle school. I know I am not the only person that does this, but I think it is a really embarrassing thing to talk about so a lot of people just don’t want to admit it. I know I don’t want to anyway! But sometimes the only way to overcome our obstacles is to face them!
The last couple of weeks have been hard for me because of some personal things going on and I always tell myself I won’t, but I have been turning to food. Sometimes I turn to food because I saw a beautiful girl on Pinterest, and I think “I will never look like that.” Comparison is the thief of joy!
The crazy thing is, I don’t overeat just when I’m depressed. It’s when I’m happy, stressed, excited, with other people or when I’m alone. If there is some sort of dessert around, it is ALWAYS calling my name. Most of the time, I have self restraint. The part of my mind that is rational says “Kelly, you know that this is bad for you. It will make you feel bad, and you will feel defeated” and I listen to it! But there are just those times that I do not take the time to think, my emotions take over.
As a person committed to health and fitness, as well as being a Christian, I know relying of food to feel better is wrong. I know this is not healthy physically or mentally! So I am going to try to use the journey I am writing about in this blog to overcome this forever. I have promised this to myself for years, that this is the last time. “I’ll get back to my healthy plan tomorrow, tonight is my last night of binge eating”. Since I have been eating so healthy for months now, when I DO binge eat food that is terrible for me my body rejects it even worse than it used to. If I eat too much junk, I feel sick sometimes for days! If that isn’t a sign to quit, I don’t know what is.
From now on, I am tapping into God’s strength for this. I know my willpower is strong most of the time, but God’s strength is never ceasing. He does amazing things through NOT amazing people, so I know He can help me with this! When I feel that need coming on, I will take a deep breath and ask God for help.